blog sent to /dev/null

Almost a year ago I write here that I was working on a long piece, my swan song, about me leaving journalism (with fear & loathing). It is still sitting on my hard drive as a draft. It has been so long since I worked on it I have kind of forgotten where I put it.

That is a bit sad. Not only did I have to leave a craft I enjoyed and was very passionate about. I have also forgotten where I stashed some of my most personal write-ups.

Writing is, to put in bluntly, something I do not do any more. Not only do I not have the time to do it, but when I do, like now, it is like pouring salt & Tabasco into a wound while twisting a knife in it.

I even have had to stop reading my favourite author, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson. Not because I do not enjoy his writing any more, but because he was not just my biggest inspiration, when reading him I got a greater boost than any coffee or drug would give me to sit down and write for hours.

That is something I cannot handle any more. Realising that I will never be a journalist again, having to give up what you truly enjoyed. It is not easy to face.

I am not even on my deathbed and I already have decided what my biggest regret in life is.

Which is why I cleansed dokterw.me of anything related to journalism. I have even taken down my portfolio. It is gone. Not relevant any more.

That does not change the fact I also have a passion for IT. I enjoy my new job working with EDI (electronic data interchange), but it has one thing IT (at least from my experience) lacks. You never truly know what will happen tomorrow or even an hour from now — even 5 minutes from now can be very unpredictable in journalism.

It allowed me to meet a lot of interesting people in Australia. Musicians, politicians, ordinary people with extraordinary stories. I even met the American actor, Chris Judge.

What has drawn me to both journalism and IT is my hunger for knowledge. I want to know why. I want to learn how something works. I want to share information. I want to go against the grain and do what is unexpected.

Doing the unexpected in journalism you tell the stories no one else tells, and you tell them differently from everyone else. In IT, to do the unexpected, you need to figure out how the systems work and how you can tweak them and make them do what you want them to do.

Yet, in IT you usually end up at a desk and the only travels you do are through the Internet. While in journalism, if you are lucky, you will travel the world so you can tell the stories from each and every corner.

But I digress…

I could digress further, on how shit journalism has become and how some journalists are lowlife scum, but that’s for when, and if, I finish my true swan song.

From no on, if I post here it will most likely be about something IT related.

That is, if I ever get the time. Because lately I only have time to eat, sleep & work. I do not play games anymore, I have not had time to learn Python yet (something I have planned for a year), I have stopped making music, I have stopped tinkering with computers & networks, I do not read books any more, & as mentioned, I have stopped writing.

Take care for now.

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No more writing from this bastard

The good doctor said, “It’s a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.” Which is very apt for my situation. Well, not in a literal sense, but more to do with my career as a journalist — it ate shit and died.

My absence from writing for Westender, Go Gonzo Journal and this blog should have made that very obvious.

After months of looking for a paid gig my motivation dropped down to zero.

In psychology, something I have discussed earlier, you have what is called incentive. This deeply affects a person’s motivation. Simplified and brief; no incentive, no motivation.

As a journalist I had two incentives. My passion for the craft and an income. The income incentive was non-existent. It also affects my ability to not only work as a journalist, but also stay alive and have a place called home.

It is time to come clean. I have only mentioned it briefly and been extremely evasive about it. Since I started working as a freelance journalist I have been paid $0 for five years. Do the math. If that doesn’t kill a person’s incentive, I don’t know what will.

Lucky for me I have a background in IT — another (obvious) passion of mine. I am starting my new IT job next month with gusto.

Finally after so many years without an income I will actually get paid to do something I am good at and enjoy.

Before I start my new job I will be working on an article. Actually, it will be more like a column as I anticipate it to be rather long. My swan song if you will. Kind of a mini autobiography focused on my (short) career as a journalist and the weird shit I experienced. I hope to finish it within four weeks, but I won’t promise anything — don’t hold your breath while waiting for it1.

“When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro,” was another thing Dr. Hunter S. Thompson said. It got weird. I tried to turn pro, but it didn’t work for me.


  1. This post was finished almost two weeks ago. So my swan song might arrive between in a month or never. Really don’t give a shit anymore. Don’t even give a shit if I have some minor mistakes in the text either. Fuck it!